Posted by: shotgunfacelift | October 3, 2009

All Bloggers Are Losers

I’ve been blogging for just about a week now. My journey into the world of blogs has come to a close and the results are in. I now feel like I’m in a position to comment about blogs and bloggers in general but I thought I’d just start with a good, old fashioned blanket statement (or generalisation) and announce that: ‘All bloggers are losers’

I’ll tell you how I reached this conclusion, or discovered this fact, or solidified my hypothesis very slowly and very methodically – so by the end of it, you’ll agree with me and will hastily scramble to your Dashboard to annihilate your blog from the ‘Blogosphere’. (My god, I fucking hate buzz words.)

Irony at its finest

Irony at it's finest

The first time I made my blog I couldn’t help but feel slightly weird. Why was I doing it? Why should I write things for other people to read? Is it for myself? Is it for everyone else? I couldn’t really reach a solid answer. So why the fuck am I still doing it?Ā  I don’t know to be honest.

So yes, I banged away right at it and churned out my first blog post – Little did I know I was about to enter a haze of obsessive Stat checking, having sudden urges to pop on my laptop and see if I got any comments or if I wasn’t doing the last two things, I’d be browsing other blogs, leaving comments and making sure I linked back to my blog to get the odd extra view.

It made me feel like a loser.

But hey, aren’t all bloggers losers? I can’t possibly see a justifiable reason for posting on my piece of shit blog, or commenting on your piece of shit blog. I don’t want to hear about what you’ve been upto, I don’t want to see your crappy drawings or read your crappy poetry. I don’t want to read your ‘About’ section which claims you’re ‘crazy’ and ‘unique’. I don’t want any of it.

So yeah, readers, why do you post stuff on your blog when:

(a) Nobody is going to read it, most probably; putting all your efforts to waste: I could be the best fucking writer in the world. I could be fucking Shakespeare reincarnated but unless I had the blog whoring skills to go along with it, I’d be another steaming turd in the blogosphere.

(b) Even if someone did, they wouldn’t care: I actually put some effort into some of my blog posts. I’ll admit. I’ve edited music, drawn stuff. Proof read, everything. And what do I get in return? An average of 64 views a day. Shitfuck.

So please, comment, and give me your reasons. Bye.



  1. Me. I feel better after a blog post, unless I put too much effort into it.

    And I don’t want lots of readers, just a few of a certain kind who shouldn’t lose their sleep over what I’ve written.

    Yes, blogging is for losers. Awesome ones.

    • That’s fine. You’re a Pathan agnostic, fair enough. I’m PAP Agnostic/atheistic too.

    • agreed. Shotgun’s dividing by zero.

      • Dividing by zero in the good way or the bad way?

  2. You blog about blogs. That is awesome.

  3. Not all bloggers are losers. You feel that way because YOU are just shallow and self-centered. šŸ™‚

  4. *yawn*

    Thanks for pointing out the spelling error in my post, fellow loser!

  5. I love telling the world about the music that moves me, even if no one cares… (some do). If I can enlighten just one human at a time with my adoration for Metal Music and/or all of the Rock Music genres, then I have always stated… I have done a great Metal deed for mankind. A Metalhead like myself never gives up… especially with blogs. Don’t give up as well! You are in the Metal Odyssey camp now… I posted your link on my blog roll – thanks a Metal ton for doing the same.

    • The pleasure is all mine. I added you because the amount of albums you’ve reviewed in detail is ridiculous.

      True metalhead right here, folks.

    • ^ [1]

  6. It’ just fun ramblin’, simple! I started with zero readers but it didn’t really make a difference, I just blogged because I liked mustering up views on stuff. Heh.

    Though some people really piss me off who want someone to follow their blog because they’re following their blog. Wth? šŸ˜

    • It’s called common courtesy. You’re giving them views and they’d like the same in return.

      Look it up in a dictionary.

  7. ^ [2]

  8. Because our lives are mostly different. My life, as it happens, is strange because somehow whenever I blog, people do read it – and someone or the other does care. But mostly I blog because I like to write, and I like to have what I’ve written read. It’s word exhibitionism mostly, but it works for me! šŸ˜›

    • Yes, but some people continue to write even though nobody reads anything they write.

      I personally wouldn’t post anything which I considered substandard content, such as a single image with a platonic caption which many people on WordPress do post. Frequently.

  9. Nobody really reads my blog…but I blog anyway. I hate what I write but I write. I like typing. And it makes me feel like a loser, yes.
    Love your blog.

  10. Blog is for losers lacking social skills in a copycat society. Some feel as though they are some sort of Philospher, while others simply regergitate info and just post existing facts with a lack of personal identity or scientific reasoning. (please excuse my spelling and any other gramatical errors – i just don’t care enough)

  11. Bloggers aren’t “losers” per say but they aren’t exactly “writers” either. Just people with too much time on their hands. And ofcourse, I’m not referring to every single human that blogs. Some blogs for instance, are quite informative and interesting. Others make me want to pick up a kitchen knife and stab myself. And that’s the majority of blogs and bloggers.

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