I’ve been blogging for just about a week now. My journey into the world of blogs has come to a close and the results are in. I now feel like I’m in a position to comment about blogs and bloggers in general but I thought I’d just start with a good, old fashioned blanket statement (or generalisation) and announce that: ‘All bloggers are losers’
I’ll tell you how I reached this conclusion, or discovered this fact, or solidified my hypothesis very slowly and very methodically – so by the end of it, you’ll agree with me and will hastily scramble to your Dashboard to annihilate your blog from the ‘Blogosphere’. (My god, I fucking hate buzz words.)
The first time I made my blog I couldn’t help but feel slightly weird. Why was I doing it? Why should I write things for other people to read? Is it for myself? Is it for everyone else? I couldn’t really reach a solid answer. So why the fuck am I still doing it? I don’t know to be honest.
So yes, I banged away right at it and churned out my first blog post – Little did I know I was about to enter a haze of obsessive Stat checking, having sudden urges to pop on my laptop and see if I got any comments or if I wasn’t doing the last two things, I’d be browsing other blogs, leaving comments and making sure I linked back to my blog to get the odd extra view.
It made me feel like a loser.
But hey, aren’t all bloggers losers? I can’t possibly see a justifiable reason for posting on my piece of shit blog, or commenting on your piece of shit blog. I don’t want to hear about what you’ve been upto, I don’t want to see your crappy drawings or read your crappy poetry. I don’t want to read your ‘About’ section which claims you’re ‘crazy’ and ‘unique’. I don’t want any of it.
So yeah, readers, why do you post stuff on your blog when:
(a) Nobody is going to read it, most probably; putting all your efforts to waste: I could be the best fucking writer in the world. I could be fucking Shakespeare reincarnated but unless I had the blog whoring skills to go along with it, I’d be another steaming turd in the blogosphere.
(b) Even if someone did, they wouldn’t care: I actually put some effort into some of my blog posts. I’ll admit. I’ve edited music, drawn stuff. Proof read, everything. And what do I get in return? An average of 64 views a day. Shitfuck.
So please, comment, and give me your reasons. Bye.