Posted by: shotgunfacelift | October 6, 2009

Autumn is upon us

Autumn is the crusty anus of the seasonal body, it should be disposed with immediately. God must want us to feel a tremendous amount of pain each year to have caused such an abomination to descend upon his people.

Going through autumn is the equivalent of excreting diahrrea through your pee hole while simultaneously ejecting projectile vomit.

I don’t want to walk through mountains of multicoloured leaves, bark and a plethora of other annoying materials for another second. It’s like mother natures idea of a fucking obstacle course, and I’m not seeing the humour. That guy was right when he wrote ‘Mother Nature is a whore’. She’s a whore of the worst kind. I bet she loves anal.

All these Disney fairytales we have shoved down are throats lead to posts like these. There are no birds that chirp and mate, people don’t play with the leaves. It’s just a clusterfuck beyond all proportions.

Lets see you love autumn after you’re raking your backyard while you sweat like a paedophile in a playground. Let’s see how much you enjoy autumn then. Let’s see you drive through a pile of leaves and get your car plastered in random shit and mud.

Shitty leaves, everywhere. Moist, mossy outgrowths on the aforementioned. A distinct stink throughout the air of bark, fungi and damp animals.

Fuck Autumn.

Die, bitch.

Die, bitch.



  1. Fucking jerk. :H

  2. “She’s a whore of the worst kind. I bet she loves anal.”

    That made me laugh out fucking loud.

  3. Another autumn post!

    • He’s anti-autumn through and through.

  4. How delightful this post was.

    • He’s like that, mhm. :H

  5. I don’t mind autumn so much for three reasons:

    1. I no longer have to mow my damn lawn.

    2. Halloween

    3. The damn weeds stop growing in my yard.

  6. “Autumn is the crusty anus of the seasonal body” hahaha that is beyond profound!

  7. Hey!

    Awesome blog

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