Girl bloggers get more attention than guy bloggers

This is not an opinion,
I’m simply stating a fact,
If you don’t agree with me,
You can lick my sack.

It’s not a world view,
I’m not taking a punt,
If you don’t agree with me,
You’re stupid cunt

– Shotgunfacelift (God, and former toilet attendant.)

Every girl on here gets a couple of comments on their blogs no matter what the fuck they post. They could post a picture of a steaming turd and still get a million views and five billion responses. Why? because they’re girls. Girls on the internet are a rare, dying breed. On various girl-blogs I’ve been on, I’ve been surprised to see images harvested from the internet and slapped on a post receive hundreds of comments. Really, what the fuck?

If any of you girls would like to put my theory to the test, set your profile picture as you with a bit of cleavage and tit showing. Keep a neutral look on your face, be nonchalant, as if it wasn’t done on purpose. You’ll double or triple your daily views, guaranteed.

Many of you might be thinking to yourselves ‘Oooh, well, Shakespeare isn’t a girl. Dan Brown isn’t a girl. Why do people read their stuff? Nanana.’ That’s true, but you’re missing an extremely important point. They didn’t write on the internet. According to my calculations, girls on the street have a value of 1 Gi, whereas on the internet, the average girl with bad hair, acne and no friends will have have a value of roughly 3000 Gi. Gi is the SI unit for girl value, before you ask. So yes, their Gi is multiplied by  a factor of roughly 3000.

The next time you decide to comment on that Cyanide and Happiness comic strip some girl put on her blog, think again. Support original bloggers like me, and go out on the streets, torch and pitchfork in hand – and bring these bloggers down.